September 11th - For My Mother

It was February 27th of this year when I received word that my Mother had passed away quite suddenly. My first reaction was to scream, to collapse in a puddle in the floor, and to wonder what I would do without her.

It took a few hours to reach my distraut father and together we faced the terrible truth. She was gone and now the world seemed to be a far more frightening place to be.

It has been several months now and the raw pain has subsided, with her funeral and spreading of her ashes in Oklahoma. My father has managed to pick up the pieces and has found a way to continue living a good and productive life. Even managing to survive Hurricane Dolly a month ago, and now possibly facing the ravages of Ike. But when I asked him if he would leave, he because quite adament about being 90 years old, surviving 4 hurricanes, and even the monster Ike won't make him leave his and mother's home.

Now the date of my mother's birth is fast approaching. September 11th, which was ruined for her after the World Trade Center.... she always said it would never be the same again. I am dealing with a new flood of memories and yes, even a new sensation of loss and pain. This will be the first birthday I can't call to wish her a great day, I can't tell her how much i love her, and I can't tell her how much I miss her... All I can do is hope she hears my prayers at night, and that she knows how proud I was of her, and how much I wish I could of done more.

I am trying now to be much closer to my own dear daughters. After losing my Mom - nothing else seems quite as important as letting my own children know how deeply I cherish and love them. I want to NEVER LEAVE ANYTHING UNSAID and should any of us depart as suddenly as my dear mother, the others will be left with the knowledge that I loved them all the best.